Ok, I might have a problem. My husband and kids would hear me say that and go " Oh, she's finally going to own up to her Starbucks addiction." Sorry to disappoint but no, still not a problem! I have that one totally under control. In fact, I'm sipping on a Starbucks now at O'Hare waiting to board a plane to Phoenix to visit the kids. If I play my cards right, I will have just enough time to grab a free refill before they start the prebaording. Problem solved.
I'm talking about the extra baggage and stuff I tend to bring along on the journey or hoard. I've gotten better over the years but considering my mom called me a "pack rat" for as long as I can remember, it must have been one of those so-called problems that began way back....I used to save everything from gums wrappers and ticket stubs to ditto jeans and leg warmers. I was just sure they would come back in style one day. I still own a pair of Levi 501's that are about 25 years old. I don't want to admit the last time I wore those. Last year maybe?
The last time we moved I finally did purge a lot of stuff and things I had accumulated over the years. We had a garage sale, a few large trash pick ups and several trips to Good Will. And yet, I still have way too much stuff! Stuff that sits and collects dust, takes up not just space but causes emotional stress from having to think about what to do with it. Why do I even need so much stuff? I'm a little sentimental so, I guess if I'm honest, it's the memories that go with most of my stuff that keeps me from parting with it.
Take for example, Jarrod's baby blanket. Keep in mind he is now 26 years old. I'm thankful for my friend who helped me in purging out closets in Arizona. When I held up the ratted, old, unidentifiable piece of cloth, known only to us as a blanket and told her it was Jarrod's "Nike"; she looked me straight in the eye and said, " Connie, I love you enough to not let you be one of those old ladies who keeps her kids baby clothes forever. Take a picture of it and toss it" she was loving yet firm in her tone, and I'd like to say she scared me straight. I've always been a slow learner so I am still in the growing stages when it comes to parting with things that are taking up space both physically and emotionally.
I had great intentions this past week to weed through some closets and cupboards. This was purely out of selfish motivation, knowing that whatever gets packed up and shipped also needs to be unpacked and put away by yours truly. As much purging as I thought I did in Arizona, I saw things come out of boxes in Chicago I wished the movers had lost or broken. I really don't want to see that stuff in Boston. So, once again I made more trips to Good Will.
Jim and I have ran many races and as part of the entry fee they give you a commemorative shirt. So, of course I've saved them! They have memories after all. We also saved all of our bib numbers and finisher medals. Those alone took up a whole box between the two of us. Funny that box never got unpacked. It's down in the basement somewhere with more of our stuff we didn't know what to do with. We are even storing our kids stuff because they don't have room for it. I looked at each of those shirts and realized I haven't even worn half of them. They are just taking up space and a good hanger in my closet and I most likely will never wear them. So, off they go. It felt so good to get rid of them and free up a hanger. I felt like I could breath a little better. Who knew the freedom of letting go of stuff?
Then there are the things that I think I need or really want, things that I know what the movers are going to tell me. " You can't take that with you". All of my candles had to stay in Arizona out of fear of melting and causing damage to our shipment. Same for most liquids such as, bottles of shampoo, cooking oils, bleach, fabric softener etc. Aerosol cans and propane tanks are also frowned upon. Those are some of the things we left in Arizona and of course have since replaced here in Chicago. I hit pay dirt at a BOGO sale at Yankee Candle so I stocked up on my favorite scents. I do love bleach so of course I got a big bucket of that. And so on......when the lady came Friday to survey our house to see how big of a trailer it will take to move all of our stuff , I said, " I know the drill, that large bottle of avocado oil I just invested in can't go with me." She gave me an affirming, apologetic smile. As if to say " it's for your own good and for your protection ". I get it, I can't take it with me!
It probably won't surprise you to hear that I've never been a light traveler either. In fact, I held my breath when the attendant at the check-in counter put my ginormous bag on the scale this morning at the airport. I just hoped that I came in under the 50 pound limit. There is stuff in that bag that I can almost guarantee I won't even use on this trip. But, I'm going to carry it along, unnecessarily anyway wondering why my neck and shoulder are so out of whack. 
The middle one with more stuff than necessary.
This got me to thinking about all this stuff that I have a problem letting go of. Things I choose to bring along with me on this journey that I don't need and am not even expected to carry much less hoard! Anxiety of what may or may not happen along the way. Who I am pleasing and who I am letting down. I dislike letting people down! But I have and still do let people down from time to time. I hoard those hurts and disappointments that I cause others. That is stuff that takes up too much space. Am I really going to fret over it just like that bottle of avocado oil? Or keep it hanging in the closet as a memory? Do I really need it or is it weighing me down? What other "stuff" am I holding on to so tightly that can potentially cause damage? If I'm not careful it could be everything from baby blankets to disappointments and commemorative t-shirts to my circumstances. That's a lot of weight in my baggage that isn't necessary.
Jesus tells me to cast all my anxiety on Him because He cares for me. To seek the approval of God not man, I will let others down no matter how hard I try not to. I need to set my eyes on things above because this world and everything in it, is temporary. I brought nothing into it and I can't take it with me when I go. Today, I'm going to head out on my journey and travel light.
Pressing On
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