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Looking Up



When we were in Hawaii a few months ago we went on this incredible hike. Maybe you've heard of Koko Head Stairs. It's a crater that was once used as a military lookout during World War 2. A railway was created and used to haul cargo and supplies up to the top. Today it is used by many for hiking and has over 1000 stairs. Some are spaced together fairly tight while others are spaced pretty far apart. So it is not your everyday run of the mill stairway. It gets tough and not only is it steep but there is a section that acts as a bridge with a 40 foot drop below. The space between the railroad ties in this section is wide. Meaning it would be real easy to slip through and fall 40 feet down. This was the biggest challenge for me. I don’t think I have a fear of heights until I’m put in one of these situations. 
The hiking was going great, I was ahead of my husband and feeling pretty confident until we got to the center of said bridge. I lost my footing momentarily and ended up on all fours with the 40 foot drop now in front of my eyes.  Of course, I was more worried of dropping my phone. But I can't say I jumped right back up. I sat frozen for a few seconds with my feet on two different ties and my hands on two others. It felt like I was playing twister, right hand on blue, left leg on yellow. Don't look down, don’t look down. 



I stood up but was still paralyzed and Jim later told me that he could see my legs shaking. He tried to encourage me to go but I didn't see how I possibly could because I was so focused on the raven below me. Then a really cool thing happened. A complete stranger that was on the other side of the bridge called out to me, “ Look up here, don’t look down, look at me.” I looked up, locked eyes with him and he said “Now, walk one step at a time towards me. You can do this.” It was a very simple act of kindness on his part and he has no idea how much that encouraged me. I thanked him when I got across and wanted to hug him but I tried to stay cool not wanting to make any more of a scene. 

I’ve thought of that moment so often over the past couple of months. To me it’s a beautiful picture of God’s help in my life. He never asks me to go on a journey without Him. He wants to guide and help me along the way. He also wants me to keep my eyes on Him and not my circumstances. Especially, when the road gets rough. Whenever I start to look down I can end up on all fours paralyzed by fear. But when I look up and lock eyes on Him and His promises, I can trust He will get me safely to the other side.  

I thought of this again as I was having one of those yucky days the other day. I was feeling pretty down. I have a tendency to beat myself up over the smallest and not so smallest of things. Whether it’s a missed opportunity to show love and kindness to someone, I sat idle on all fours for too much time throughout the day when I should have been productive or gave into too much indulgence of food again. I will beat myself up. I start looking down at that raven. My focus is down and on me again instead of up and on Him. 

I’m very aware that I tend to struggle with the same things over and over.These are just a few of my weaknesses. God is constantly at work in me and I can get frustrated that I am not yet where I need to be. But I truly believe that these are the things that keep me looking to Him and reminding me of how much I need Him and His guidance in my life.

There were many factors that went into why I was feeling so yucky this day. My husband has been traveling a lot lately and that has caused me to feel lonely and sorry for myself, it also causes me to make poor eating choices, which never helps; why I think it will is beyond me. There are some other struggles I am going through that I won't go into here but throw the hormonal imbalance in there and you have the ingredients for the perfect “whoa is me storm.” Then of course the guilt of even feeling this way. There are so many bigger problems going on right now that my little silly stuff is nothing by comparison. So I beat myself up over that too.

It’s funny how I can encourage others but allow myself to go down this slippery slope of self pity, gripped by fear of the unknown. I know that the only thing that will get me through this is a change of heart. Not the change of others hearts or even the change of how they treat me or behave but really a heart transformation on my part. And God is the only one who can do that! He is in the heart transformation business and loves when I cry out to Him to change me. 

I have to remind myself of who He is and all that He has done for me. I have to remind myself  to be thankful I have a husband who loves me and also has a great job that provides for us, I have an incredible family, more friends that put up with me than I deserve. I have to remind myself that I have food in the pantry, a roof over my head, and more luxuries that I take for granted than I can even count. More importantly above all, I have an amazing God who loves me and is guiding me every step of the way of this journey on planet earth! I truly am blessed. 

That’s the heart change that I desire. That God’s desires would become mine. God desires my heart to cry out to Him. To look to Him in all things. To worship Him, not my comfort, pleasures of this world or even my relationships with others. That creates a shift focus from me to others. I want to be one who is loving and encouraging others to look up, eyes on Him and take one step at a time.


He never fails to show me His presence either. He often shows me exactly what I need in His Word while I have my quite time with Him each morning. He puts people in my life or in my path that cause me to see Him. Even a stranger who simply says, “ Look up here, don’t look down, look at me.”

Pressing On


“So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.” 
2 Corinthians 4:18



“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, 2 fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross,scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God Hebrews 12:1-2

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