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Passenger Seat

I don't do well in the passenger seat when my husband is driving. Especially when I'm familiar with the route we are taking. I often think I know better than he does on which direction to take, what lane to be in, the short cuts and even which parking spot puts us near the cart corral and store entrance that I prefer. 

Last weekend we did our typical run to Target. I cringed the whole way as he pulled through the front of the entire shopping center. Though I said nothing, inside I was dying and thinking, " if you pull around to the back of the parking lot , we will miss all this foot traffic and get to my favorite parking spot faster". You know, because we are in such a hurry. We weren't in a hurry. I don't know why I want to hurry things along. I just think my way is better. 

We did our shopping and got back in the car and wouldn't you know it, went out the same way we came. Cringing again! Had we done it my way, we would have made a clean break out the other side, made a right hand turn onto the back road that would take us to the traffic signal and probably be home by now. But we went by way of speed bumps, families of eighteen walking at a snails pace and cars cutting out in front us. It took days to get through that parking lot. Ok I am exaggerating but it felt like it. 

Then the following day we went for a run through the forest near our house. I often ask God to show me how to follow my husband through our running. Remember I'm a visual learner. It takes both mental and physical strength for me to do this. And truthfully a lot of prayer. I have to slow my pace day and put myself behind him. As much as I want to follow his leadership, I can't do that from up front. So, here we are again, I'm in the passenger seat on our run, cringing when he went right to the entrance to the woods and took a path I would not have chosen for us. Unnecessary dirt to run through, a taller wall to hurdle and this opening had barbed wire that was not all that convenient for me to cross. But he was going. So I grudgingly followed. Kind of stewing over it even. As I stepped over the barbed wire, my back foot clipped it and down I went. I have fallen so much I just know when it happens to roll with it. It's going to hurt. 

Jim turned around to see if I was ok and ask what had happened.  I said "I tripped" with probably more sarcasm than I realized. In that moment I was mad. Mad that I fell, mad at the barbed wire and mad at my poor husband who had no clue what was going on in my head and in my heart. I blamed him for my spill. Had we done it my way, this wouldn't have happened. I wouldn't be standing here with scraped knees, a bruised side and brushing the dust off my sweating self. Oh.my.good.ness! The pride I have in my heart right now is embarrassing. I knew in that very moment that this weekend of feeling the need to be in the drivers seat and doing things my way was a lesson from God. 

It didn't take long for me to confess that all to God and give Him back the control of the wheel of my life. I apologized to Jim for blaming him for my poor footing. The truth is, I fell because I took my eyes off of where I was going. I was so focused on getting my way and doing things the way I think is best that I missed my step and fell. It hurt but that's not always a bad thing. I need these lessons to be reminded of who is in control. It's not me and that's a good thing! 

I don't know why I constantly struggle with this need to control my circumstances but I do. And it's always in these little visuals that God shows me that He is in the drivers seat not me and not my husband. God is in control, I just need to stay in the passenger seat. And maybe there is something He wants me to see or learn from the front of the parking lot or through a different entrance into the forest. Whether that is through people, patience or simply trusting my husband to lead us. 

-Pressing On 


“First pride, then the crash— the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.”
Proverbs 16:18 MSG


“Then Jesus went to work on his disciples. “Anyone who intends to come with me has to let me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am. Don’t run from suffering; embrace it. Follow me and I’ll show you how. Self-help is no help at all. Self-sacrifice is the way, my way, to finding yourself, your true self. What kind of deal is it to get everything you want but lose yourself? What could you ever trade your soul for?”
Matthew 16:24-26 MSG


“Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.”
Ephesians 5:22-23 NIV

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