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Learning to Walk Again

One of our weekend rituals is to run together. My husband travels a lot now so our weekends are spent playing catch up. With each other. We have been running together for so many years now it has just become what we do. However, we don't necessarily do it the same. He likes to listen to music, I like to talk when running with someone. I've learned to respect his space. So I listen to my own music. I have even learned to use this time to be alone with God. I have a longer stride so I tend to run at a little bit of a faster pace. Especially if Annie joins us. Her enthusiasm for running at record pace involuntarily speeds me up. 

This past weekend was different. Jim had been gone most of the week. I had a couple of days of rest and was ready to hit the ground running and keep up with Annie. Jim still wasn't able to run. He had a skin cancer removed from his nose a couple of weeks ago and wasn't suppose to be exercising while waiting for it to heal properly. It was a beautiful day out and I so wanted to run before church.

Knowing that he would be leaving again in a few hours I asked if he'd like to go for a walk instead so we could spend time together. He was quick to reply sure and we headed out without our music stuck in our ears. Annie didn't seem to mind the slower pace. In fact, I think she prefers it. Her nose gets to work double time as she smells everything that walked ahead of us. 

We took much of the same route as we do when we run only this time it looked different. We noticed neighbors yards and different landscape. We walked up so close to a cardinal I thought I could pet it. We talked about things that happened in our week. I shared with him what God is teaching me at the moment about myself and the struggles I have been going through with that process. Side note, I don't always do that with Him. Not because I don't want to, it just doesn't always happen as naturally as it did on this morning.

We cut through the forest that backs up to our neighborhood. It was a gorgeous crisp morning where the sun peaks through the pine trees and cast a ray of light on the ground. We could hear the rustle of squirrels and other small animals in the bushes. Birds were chirping and the woodpeckers were in their glory. At one point we just sort of stopped to listen and breathe it in. Well, Annie not so much. She was in her own little heaven. 

It was one of those mornings that I just gave thanks to God for who He is. The creator of the world and everything in it. Especially us. Whenever I start to doubt His love I have to remember to feed myself this truth. He created me simply because He loves me. He is changing me and that too is because He loves me. But it's all in His time. He isn't in a hurry like I am, always wanting to run and rush.

 There are things about me that I still wish were different, I want Him to fix this in me, change me so that I don't have to keep wrestling with it. The same sin, the same disbelief, the same merry-go-round I struggle with in people pleasing. I just want to be grown up already. I realized that in my trying to rush Him, I'm trying to once again do His job. Which communicates to my creator that He isn't doing it right. Yikes! Talk about a prideful heart. Ouch. 

I believe He likes to slow things down and take His time. Time is nothing to Him. He showed me that on our morning walk through the neighborhood and forest this weekend. "See what you miss by always being in such a hurry? The sounds of music by nature when you don't unplug from your devices. The conversations that share your heart with someone you love that can take place?" And much more importantly time I miss with my creator when I rush through my day and life and want Him to hurry along. There is joy in time with Him, seeking His will in my life instead of my own way. 

The beauty around me every single day is a gift if I can just slow down, unplug and walk not run to see it. 

Pressing On 


“But those who trust in the Lord will find new strength. They will soar high on wings like eagles. They will run and not grow weary. They will walk and not faint.”
Isaiah 40:31 NLT


“And I will give you a new heart, and I will put a new spirit in you. I will take out your stony, stubborn heart and give you a tender, responsive heart.”
Ezekiel 36:26 NLT



“The Lord isn’t really being slow about his promise, as some people think. No, he is being patient for your sake. He does not want anyone to be destroyed, but wants everyone to repent.”
2 Peter 3:9 NLT

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