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Running with Pride

I signed Jim and I up for a local 10k. It was a small event just down the street from us and for a great cause to help kids in sports. A fun way for us to get out and do something we both enjoy doing before the snow hits.  

I hadn't raced in a long time so I certainly didn't expect to come home with any prize. Besides, I really don't sign up for these things to win a trophy.  But, I have never been in a race where I am literally at the start line leading the pack. I suppose there is a first time for anything. I didn't look behind me to see how many runners where going to be in this race. My goal is always to run my own race one mile at a time and at this age, just finish without any injuries. 

So there I was, leading the pack with three other runners. Male runners, not that it really matters but it plays well into my story. One younger, one older and the one next to me about my age. Jim, was somewhere behind me. He joked and said something like "don't wait for me"  to which I translated  "game on". I'm not competitive or any thing. We had looked at the course map and were told it was "basically two laps, the 5k twice". The course wasn't coned off and there weren't policemen stopping traffic for us as I have seen in all my previous races. So, when we came to a turn in the road there was a little confusion as to what direction we take. The man next to me confidently turned right on the street I was also sure we were to turn on. The other two began to head straight then saw that we were turning and we motioned this was the way the map read. 

I felt great, I was keeping up with my pace. Faster than I have been running in a while. Still ahead of Jim so all was good. Could I keep this up and stay in the lead like this? Did being first really matter?  First lap, no one passed me. Wow, Connie look at you going strong! Ah, Pride, there you are. Nice of you to join me. Now, I starting thinking about that trophy. I'm already thinking about where I will put it and how I will tease Jim with it. It will be displayed proudly on the mantel. I'll say witty things like "don't you wish you had a trophy?" Or " I'll just put this here next to yours, oh what? - you didn't get on?" I'm chuckling to myself and feeding Pride with every step I take. 

I still couldn't believe I was a front runner and no else was passing me. Maybe I am the only female runner out here. Still first place is first place right? I kept looking at my Garmin and my calculations just weren't matching up to the miles on the course. Could they have miscalculated? There was Pride again, thinking I know better than they do. On my first lap I was short by about a half mile. Now we were running with the 5k walkers and runners so on the second lap I passed several people. As I came to the finish line I was extremely disappointed that my gps read 5.23 miles rather than the 6.4 it should have. What went wrong? 

I had stayed fairly close behind the guy who turned at the beginning. But now as I stood there waiting for Jim the older man who originally thought we should have gone straight came in and he had been well ahead of me. We missed a chunk of the course. He had been right and we should have headed out straight instead of turning right. He said he caught it the second time around. Bummer! Not only was I short my distance, I was no longer the front runner. No trophy, no teasing, no gloating over my major victory! Ouch. I was wrong and had strayed off course. Worse, I lead others to do the same. Yikes! 

Jim came in and his face read the same disappointment I was feeling. I said, " I'm sorry, we went the wrong way" he was so gracious " it really wasn't marked well" he said. And then (and this is one of the many reasons I love and respect this man so much) "We need to go tell them to disqualify us". What he didn't say was what I was thinking...... I can't take home a trophy if I cheated. So, off I went to look for the race officials. They were sitting at a table on a laptop at the finish line documenting the runners as they came in. I explained what had happened and I could see the screen with my name and number displayed at the top. It looked like I came in fourth place behind some men and the first female. He was very kind and thanked me for being honest. He told me he would just put both mine and Jim's times in a " wrong turn" category.  Ouch. As I watched him remove my name from the lead runners I was still disappointed but not nearly as much about a trophy. More about my taking a wrong turn and getting off course and letting Pride get in my way. I blew it. 

How many times do I do that throughout my day and my life? I take off in the lead and forget who I follow. I don't always check in to see if this is the right turn or not, it looks goods and seems right so I go for it. I can get caught up in the moment, thinking I know best and forget why I do what I do. Only to run full steam ahead and come up short in the end. 

A couple of  nuggets I am walking away with in this:
God is still in control. I can look at this as a disappointment or a blessing from Him who gave  me a quick view of my heart. It's prideful and I don't want pride dwelling there. He might also have used this to protect me in ways I can't even see. I am choosing to believe He chose the path for me for His perfect plan. If nothing else than to teach me this lesson on following Him and His ways. 
Secondly, even though in life, I can blow it, I can get off course and make a wrong turn. God will NEVER ever, disqualify me from the race He has me on. He gently guides me back on track. It is still a daily choice to follow Him and stay the course. But I don't have to worry about earning a silly trophy. He placed a crown on my head the day I invited Him into my heart and gave my life over to Him. That far out weighs any prize here on earth. 





 “A person may think their own ways are right, but the Lord weighs the heart.”
Proverbs 21:2 NIV

“First pride, then the crash— the bigger the ego, the harder the fall.”
Proverbs 16:18 MSG

“My Father, who has given them to me, is greater than all; no one can snatch them out of my Father’s hand.”
John 10:29 NIV

“And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.”
1Peter 5:4 NIV 

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