Building Bridges

I have a thing about bridges. I love them. I like old rustic bridges no matter how large or small. I like creaky  wooden ones. I like gigantic, historical bridges that connect big cities to quaint little towns. I like walking bridges that get me across a small body of water or over steep, rocky terrain. There is just something about a bridge to me, that says, "Come over, there is something really cool over here and it's worth the trip". Something so much so, that a bridge was necessary and someone invested their time and money to build it.

I remember a few years ago on our last trip to San Francisco. We rented bikes and rode across the Golden Gate Bridge. It was amazing! When we got to the other side we were in a quaint little town called Sausalito . We sat outside near the water, in a little cafe and had lunch. The view of the bay was entirely different from this point of view. Not only that you could see the San Francisco skyline and the whole city itself. Definitely worth the trek across the bridge. 

There is a beautiful, old, stone bridge near the pond down the street, from where we live now. It has so much charm and character. But it's on private property so we aren't allowed to cross it. It bridges the gap from the public grounds of the property to the private estate of the owner. In fact, there is a chain with a sign at the opening of the bridge that reads "Private Property. No One Allowed Beyond this Point". Well, not the most inviting of bridges and I get it. It's private property. But they might as well have built a wall rather than a bridge. What a contrast to the multitude of other bridges I have had the pleasure of traveling on.   

I think I can sometimes be that way in my relationships though. I can either build a bridge by investing in others in a way that invites people into my world and takes me to theirs. Sometimes over rocky terrain but I'm willing to do that and I think the other side will be worth the trek. Or I  can choose to build a wall with a "no one allowed beyond this point" kind of communication. 

I have, in the past, had walls put up in front of me by others. It hurts. People who I thought would love me for who I am not for what I could or couldn't do for them. Someone I trusted to be there for the long haul, that I could at any given time cross the bridge and she would be there. But instead was met with a wall "Private Property" .....Unfriended. Blocked. Not Allowed. No Access.

We can and should try to repair or rebuild bridges in those situations and sometimes there is restoration. But some times (as was the case in my situation) while we are working on repairing the bridge, they are putting their walls up higher.  I had to be ok with that. I know that I can't be all things to all people. I can't jump through hoops (or over walls) in order to make someone happy. And I won't compromise in order for them to like me. Not everyone is going to like me. And, as hard as that is for my golden retriever temperament, that's ok. 

What I can do is, forgive, just as Christ forgave me. In fact, He built the ultimate bridge when He laid down His life for me (and you). As Christ followers, we have an all access pass to the Father. Both now and forever. All are welcome and no hoop jumping required. Isn't that awesome! He loves us because He is love. And now I can love others because He first loved me. So I can forgive her, still love her and yet move on. I heard a great quote from our pastor the other day "Everyone is worthy of our love but not everyone is worthy of the investment of our time." I found those words so freeing! Those that choose to build walls rather than bridges just might be taking up too much of our time emotionally. 

I will continue to invest in building bridges. I don't want to hurt others by putting up walls that cause division in the relationships that matter most to me. Life is short and too often we can put up a wall that keeps others out. That isn't love and it only hurts. It hurts them, it hurts those that are close to them and it hurts us. We miss out!  I also think, it takes a lot more energy to hold up a wall than it does to lay  down a bridge. I am also fairly certain that building bridges and maintaining those in my relationships will be worth it. 

-Pressing On

“Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.”

Ephesians 4:32 NIV

 “We love each other because he loved us first.”

1 John 4:19 NLT

 

“Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”

John 15:13 NIV