Shortly before Mother’s Day I was out running with Jim and Annie. It was a regular day and I was finally starting to feel good physically and emotionally. The Covid Stay Home order had been lifted. Staying put isn’t one of my strengths. Especially if someone tells me I have to. I’m typically a rule follower but I don’t enjoy being told what do when it goes against my temperament. However, I had stayed home and even embraced it for the first few weeks like most everyone else.
While our gym was closed I took advantage of the at-home workouts offered via Facebook live. Not giving much thought to the fact it was on hard tile in my little den/study. Or that I was still wearing my running shoes. But I loved working out from home this way. I still somehow felt connected with this community of women. I moved furniture around. Annie would join in and try to steal my mat but I still got a good workout every day I wasn’t running.
I can’t say it was an event or a “all of a sudden” that caused the pain on the top of my foot. But the day that I was running was the day I noticed the actual pain. I pressed through it but afterward told Jim, “ I can’t run on this for a while. I think I have tendinitis.” And then I did everything they tell you not to do. I googled: “How to wrap top of foot pain.” Basically I wanted to keep going. So, I wrapped it and continued to workout. Our gym reopened so I starting cycle classes in exchange for pounding the pavement with Annie. My foot seemed to appreciated it a little but Annie was sure disappointed. The pain did not stop. I hobbled around and limped in and out of the gym. I iced it at night and did some stretch exercises but it only seemed to get worse.
Finally, Jim said, “You need to get that looked at.” I knew he was right. Man I so dislike that! But I was going on a month and it was only getting worse. A neighbor of mine recommended a foot and ankle doctor and he was able to see me in a couple of days. Meanwhile, I found comfort in a Velcro shoe my daughter loaned me from when she hurt her foot.
So, I limped into the doctors office. He was great and said he would spare me the torture of moving my foot around after just one gentle squeeze of the tender, swollen spot. After looking at the X-Ray and listening to me describe the pain, it was consistent with what the X-Ray showed. It was a stress fracture and was going to take more than the little Velcro shoe I hobbled in on. I would need a boot for 6-8 weeks. Argghh! He was equally gentle on the lecture he gave me for not taking care of it sooner. And the answer to all of my “But, can I still......?” questions were a firm “No. Not if you want to get well. We want this to heal right the first time. Otherwise, we are looking at surgery and a plate and we don’t want that.” He smiled at me and asked “Are you going to behave?” His scare tactic worked and I said “Yes!”
I got in my car and I cried a little on the way home. I had a pity party. This is such a bummer. Right when things were going so great. What a set back! I was being a baby. I know things could always be worse. So, I chose to see this as a minor set back. There is a lesson here as well and I always want to be learning and growing. I don’t like the pain that comes with it but I do want to learn from it.
I thought about a story in the Bible. Jesus goes to a pool and sees a man who has been an invalid for thirty eight years. Jesus asks the man, “Do you want to get well?” Jesus knows all and sees all so He had to have known the answer to this question He just asked this man. The man then goes on with a couple of excuses of why he hasn’t been able to get to the pool that would bring him healing. Bottom line, no one would help him. Of course, Jesus helps him after He asks if the man wants to get well. Maybe Jesus knew the man had been having a thirty eight year pity party. Waiting for things to just get better on their own.
Here's the thing. We are all broken and we live in a broken world. Often times we want the quick fix. Just wrap it up, put a band-aid on the wound and keep going. Maybe it will just go away or fix itself. We blame it on everyone else, “They won’t help me.” We sit in our pity party for years. We don’t want to admit we are broken and in need of healing, so we sit in the same cycle and just hope things will change. We look to other things and people to make us feel better when really we need a Physician to look us in the eye and say, “Do you want to get well?” Jesus is the great Physician who heals the broken hearted and binds up our wounds. Only He can bring the healing our souls so desperately want and need. We just simply need to ask, follow and trust Him.
Pressing On
“He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds.”
Psalms 147:3 NIV
“When Jesus saw him lying there and learned that he had been in this condition for a long time, he asked him, “Do you want to get well?””
John 5:6 NIV
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