Skip to main content

Still Seeking

Too often I live based on my feelings. Feelings are real and I trust God gave them to us for a reason. But if I only listen to my feelings and then act on those I can get into a heap of trouble. I don’t feel like doing the laundry so...I don’t feel like going to the gym so.... I feel like eating ice cream so ... I don’t feel like forgiving that person.... I feel like making sure I’m first in line..... I feel like I should get my way..... I think you get the picture. 

And unfortunately, sometimes I let my feelings overrule what I know to be true about God. I don’t always feel His presence. I think that is by design. He wants us to seek Him constantly, seeking His face and His guidance. It’s not like this big game of Hide and Seek. He doesn’t hide from us. He is there! Always! But we can put Him in a box because we just don’t feel Him. 

One of my daily prayers is “God, show me you today.”  Then, I go about my day and think I didn’t see Him. Oh, He is there. In everything. The problem is, I didn’t seek. I cannot tell you how many times I can look back and go.... “Oh, that was you God!” Does that ever happen to you? You’ve been thinking of someone and they just so happen to call or text you? You’re having a not so good day and then something cool happens like the car ahead of you pays for your Americano at Starbucks? You’re feeling really beat up and discouraged and you get a note from someone randomly telling you how much you are loved and the impact you have made in their life. You witness a beautiful sunrise or sunset. All God. At work. In our lives.

Last Friday I picked up a prescription at my local pharmacist. I got there about an hour before closing time and knowing they are closed on the weekend, I needed to be sure to grab it. The following day I went to run errands with Jim. When I went to make a purchase at Home Depot, my credit card wasn’t in its usual place. Yep! You probably know that horrible feeling. Where could it be? I said a little selfish prayer. “Please Lord, help me find it.” I felt so stupid. How could I have misplaced it? When we got home I tore apart my purse, my wallet, my laundry and my car. I looked up our account and the last place it was used was of course the pharmacy. But again, they are closed for the weekend. I’d have to wait until Monday at eight. Meanwhile, I watched online for any crazy, thousand dollar purchases made in Canada. And I prayed and believed that God is in control no matter the outcome. 

Eight o’clock Monday morning you can be sure I was picking up the phone to call the pharmacy. “Hold on, I will take a look.” Comes back to the phone too quickly. “I’m sorry. We don’t have it.” Feeling disappointed, stupid and defeated, I asked God out loud “Where could it be?” The prompting I got to get in my car and drive 20 minutes to go look was strong. It’s there! I knew it in my core. It wasn’t a feeling it was God showing Himself to me. Seek and you will find. So, I drove down there with the idea it would either be where I parked my car and it fell out of my pants pocket or in the chair I sat in while waiting to speak to the pharmacist.

I parked my car the same as Friday, searched the area and no. It wasn’t there. As I was walking into the pharmacy I nearly begged God, “Please, let it be here.” I kid you not, for no reason whatsoever- I looked down at my feet in the parking lot, my credit card sat facing up and the first thing I saw was my name on the card. It was as if God dropped it right at my feet, “Here you go Constance!” Crazy huh? I looked up and nearly crying through my smile, “Thank you God!”. Not just over the credit card. Don’t get me wrong, I was overjoyed I didn’t have to cancel my card. 

 This had nothing to do with my credit card and everything to do with my God. He did not have to do that but He chose to reveal Himself to me that day because I chose to seek Him. He is faithful and keeps His promises. I know that to be true. I had been asking God lately to help me see Him in all things. I was once again relying a little too much on my feelings. I just wanted to feel Him again. I know better. God isn’t a feeling. He is real and constant and never changing. Always at work. When we seek Him, we will find Him. It’s a daily choice to continue to seek Him in all things. He isn’t hiding. He is right where He has always been. On His throne and forever in the lives of those who know His name. 

Pressing On 

“Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
Psalms 9:10 NIV


“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Jeremiah 29:13 NIV

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The Season of Spring

  The mornings are so beautiful right now that I want to soak them in before the scorching heat is in its full glory. The sun comes up shortly after I do this time of year. My favorite thing to do is grab my bible, journal and a cup of coffee and sit out back with Annie while the sun rises. The birds are literally singing, the quail make more of a squawk like sound than a song but I love it.   Occasionally, I will hear an owl on a neighboring rooftop or the party of a pack of coyotes in the distance celebrating their recent conquest. I’m always surprised that these sounds don’t faze Annie one bit. Make no mistake, if the trash truck or other large vehicle drives past our dividing wall she goes absolutely K-9, as if she’s military, saving us from being attacked. Bless her heart.   Spring typically comes early in Phoenix and is somewhat short lived. I often think we go from Winter to Summer with seemingly little time to wear any of the light weight sweaters I have hangi...
2 comments
Read more

Woods and Deserts

  A dear friend of mine in Houston posted a photo of her daughter and friend walking either to or from school. At least that is what I assumed. It was a great picture of friendship shared between these two young teens. I recognized the path in the Woodlands. I’ve always loved the woods and that’s one of the many reasons why I loved living there. The massive trees, smell of bark, the rustling sound of fallen leaves and the warmth of the sun peeking through those shade covering trees. Nature is one of my favorite places to connect with God. I had many conversations with Him running on those paths.   I messaged my friend, “Ah. I miss those paths.” And she quickly replied with, “The paths miss you.” Haha. I think what she really meant was….. I am missed and it made my heart smile. I miss a lot about various places we have lived over the years. I am often asked, “Of all the places you have lived, where is your favorite?” My response is usually, “I have favorite things about eac...
2 comments
Read more

Minding My Own Tail

Have you ever heard of Happy Tail? Me either. At least not until our semi sweet chocolate lab came home from boarding with Happy Tail. They explained to me, it’s because Annie is so excited when anyone walks by her kennel; she wags her tail so fiercely that it beats up against the crate. This caused her to rub the fur off of a spot on the tip of her tail. Eventually, the skin broke open and it bled...... therefore she had been diagnosed with Happy Tail.  It cleared up until she had to spend a little more time in her kennel recently. At first I didn’t even notice. Only wondering where all the blood on my walls was coming from. Once I realized it was that Happy Tail again, I wrapped it with gauze and some first aid tape. That lasted only until the doorbell rang and a guest arrived. Several rapid wags and the wrap went flying like a severed finger and the bleeding was all over the walls along with our guest’s pants. So embarrassing! But also poor Annie. It had to hurt. I knew it ...
Post a Comment
Read more