News from the Boston Globe- Another storm! It's been snowing here. A lot! Usually when my mom calls, worried about us with the severe weather reports she is hearing on the News from the West Coast; I will reassure her that they are exaggerating. "The media blows things out of proportion" I tell her. But, this time I think they nailed it. The state of Massachusetts is buried in snow. We got hit a few weeks ago with a blizzard that landed nearly 3' of snow and then before it had a chance to settle , another storm hit us again. Another 2' causing road, school and business closures. The News reported a record 60" in the past three weeks. Today's paper read that we are currently in the second highest rank for a grand total of 95.7" of snowfall! Trying to get out of my house, clear the walkways and dig out the mailbox so the postman will deliver our mail tells me that yes, I believe the News might have this storm right. It's a crisis they like to say in their theatrical tone "the Storm of 2015" another one they named Linus, others are calling this Snowmageddon2015. With a promise of another blizzard on the way tomorrow. I think, " hey, I lived through the Polar Vortex in Chicago, how bad can this be?" I can survive this storm, I mean it can't last forever right?" Some days it just feels like it might. This has been our late winter on the East Coast.
In the meantime, a ton of snow on our roof plus frozen rain gutters are causing ice dams that trap the melting snow, forcing the water to come up under the shingles and into our house. I can hear the dripping in the buckets from here. Things I never imagined I would have to deal with. I try not to think about all this snow melting at once. The other day I woke up to snow again and I have to admit, it took the wind out of my sails a bit. The day before had finally been sunny, the sky was blue and the vitamin D felt great, it was just what I needed. I saw hope to the end of this blustery winter despite what that little groundhog had to say about it lasting another six weeks.
But now- not only another dreary day but more snow to shovel and no where to put it. We are out of room. The piles are so high on the side of the driveway and walkways you can't see the other side. I tried to make a snow angel and I fell in so deep I couldn't get out. The mailman pulled up and left yesterday with what I am guessing was a package he was supposed to deliver but didn't because our front porch was non existent. We have created a snow maze in our backyard for access to the driveway. The city of Boston has made traffic one way on even numbered streets and another way on odd numbered streets due to snow over flow. They are out of lanes. This will be Boston's plan until April. April?
Top it all off, We had Annie spayed on Monday and her two week recovery requires no outdoor activity and she absolutely loves the snow. She could show that maze what is up in five minutes! However, she is restricted to leash only potty breaks. Which translates to me having to put on boots and jacket to wait out there in the cold while she does her business. I think she is secretly punishing me by taking her sweet time - every time! And for enquiring minds, yes, frozen poop does still stink.
I try to look at the glass as half full, I really do and most days I can. Only this day- this storm-wore on me. I can now see how people can get cabin fever and even become depressed. And Annie in her protective cone around her head agrees with me. It's like an anchor weighing you down when you want to swim. Or the wall you hit during a race. It feels like you can't move. Physically I felt beat up, Spiritually, I felt depleted. As a Christ follower I know I am suppose to be thankful in all things and be joyful in all things. I know that God is in control, that He brought me here for His purpose and I need to praise Him. Yet I still found myself (as I was heaving more piles of snow) in my tears of exhaustion, my near frost bit finger tips, crying and thinking, I didn't sign up for this. This isn't fun anymore and I want to go home. How can I get through this storm, and the one that is sure to follow?
That's about when I realized, or I should say God showed me; I am still clinging to what was. Emotionally anyway. Just when I think I've let go and am finally moving forward, He reminds me that I'm still holding on too tightly to what I either once had or what I think I now want. My agenda, my schedule, my comfort, my, my, me, me...... Argghh. I so dislike that He has to take me through another storm to show me this. As I hear the News preparing us for yet another blizzard I found myself singing that song "Praise you in this storm..... "You are who you are, no matter where I am, and every tear I've cried, you hold in your hand, you never left my side, and though my heart is torn- I will praise you in this storm" Praise Him for who He is, in THIS storm. When I do that it takes the focus off of me no matter where I am, today. There will be another storm, that is certain, but I can praise Him in THIS storm. Today.
It was amazing how He changed my attitude and my heart. I was reading in Psalms the following morning and it's no coincidence that I landed on that amazing verse I've read so many times- "He says, “Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the earth.” (Psalm 46:10 NIV). He says I AM God, not I was God to others or I will be God to you when you get your act together Connie. But I AM God. And " I will be exalted." Exalted means lifted up to glorify. So I am to praise Him in this storm because of Who God says He is. And because He controls the storms I need only to be still in the midst of it. Even if it feels like it will never end. My heart changed after that.
I love how God shows up in the little every day things. I took my renewed attitude downstairs to exercise in the damp, leaky basement. I had recorded the Grammys so I could fast-ward to the parts I wanted to watch and skip the parts I didn't. Pharrell popped on the screen and started singing " Happy", that song gets my feet tapping every time, so I looked around to confirm that I was alone and thankful for the snow covered windows. I started to dance. I don't think I've danced since Jarrod and Alison's wedding. And I'm talking the crazy dance that embarrasses my kids and my husband makes fun of because I look like Elaine Benes from Seinfeld. The kind you hope no nanny cam will capture and put on YouTube. All by myself in the concrete musky basement I danced. I did the happy dance and sang and praised God for who He is. When the song was over I was blown away by what Pharrell did next. He said " I forgot to say " thank you God, as you can see by what I'm doing I am a servant of your's Lord" that stopped me in my tracks! Pharrell Williams in two seconds reminded me to Thank God and that I am His servant.
I don't know anything about Pharrell's spiritual beliefs or who he says his lord is but I do know mine. My Lord Jesus is the great I AM and He loves me enough to not only see me through this storm but all the storms of this life. He holds every tear I've cried but has never left my side. He promises to continue to change my heart to look for Him in the midst of this storm.
Maybe you too are in the middle of a storm that has just taken the wind out of your sails. One that is weighing you down like an anchor and feels like it will last forever. It won't, trust me! Or maybe you are hearing of an upcoming storm on the horizon. I mean let's face it, in this life there are storms of all kinds. But here is the hope I want to share with you- you can rest assured- Be still and know that He is God. For that reason you can do your happy dance and praise Him in this storm simply because He is who He says He is. He promises to see you through this storm and continue to do His work in you. I know I need that reminder today.
-Pressing On
"Keep your lives free from the love of money and be content with what you have, because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” (Hebrews 13:5 NIV)
"being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." (Philippians 1:6 NIV)
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