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Four Seasons

The dust is beginning to settle again. We have been in our house for three month now. Funny how yesterday marked the one year anniversary that I got on a plane from Phoenix to Chicago. Bags packed, truck loaded with all our stuff and headed to our then temporary home in the Midwest. Never in my wildest dreams would I have thought I'd be sitting on the East Coast and calling this, my new temporary home. I was flipping through my photos on my phone and cannot believe all that has happened in a years time.  All good things! 

I have both literally and figuratively, seen four amazing seasons. I've always loved the fall season. The crisp cool evenings and mornings are my favorite. I enjoy sitting with a cup of coffee curled up with a blanket ( doesn't need to be fall for that),  a toasty fire in the fireplace, I love to bake and listen to the sound of a football game on the TV. Last fall I saw the most beautiful turning of leaves in Chicago and nothing compares to the sound of those leaves blowing in the wind. It's music to my ears. The experience of a fall season, as I see it, is a shedding of leaves, branches dying and being pruned in preparation for greater growth in the next season to come. Pruning is painful but necessary. And there is such beauty in it.

I knew in my heart then, through the pruning; the uprooting, the pain of goodbyes, the loneliness and the stress of moving in itself that there was purpose in it. Even when I could not see what was ahead, I trusted ( and still do trust) God's perfect plan. Even in those times of my internal ( maybe a few outward) temper tantrums,  fear of what might or might not happen, or just simply not knowing what to do next, I knew God was doing the necessary pruning on my heart. He knows what needs to be done to prepare me for greater growth. 

I don't always hear His voice but if I keep my eyes and ears on Him, He shows Himself to me. Sometimes it's in His word when I'm reading in the morning often times it's during one of my runs, a text or phone call from an encouraging friend, seeing the sunrise, the leaves turn and blowing in the wind, the rain hitting my face or the words in a song. I have felt a little distant from Him lately thinking I'm not hearing Him. He hasn't stopped talking to me. He isn't like an upset friend I let down. He isn't like that. He is so patient with me. I was convicted this past week of how little I truly praise Him. Worship Him. I have been going to Him in need, whether that be a  personal need or a need I feel for others. "God please can you...."  " God please will you .. " there's nothing wrong with that but am I praising Him as I should just simply for who He is? Oh, I thank Him daily for all that He has blessed me with but to truly worship Him because He is God and I'm not? Worship Him in a way that my desires line up with His desires? I have to honestly say no.  I've gone through the motions at times of saying " thank you for all that you have done and are doing" waiting for the "feelings" to catch up expectantly and they haven't. My faith is not based on my feelings. My faith is based on who Jesus is, not on what He will do for me. He has already done more for me than I deserve. For that,  I will worship Him. That means I will surrender myself to Him. That is the best way I can worship Him. Regardless of how I feel, I will live to please Him alone. 

I heard a song on my playlist the other morning. I've heard it many times, it's not a new song and yet it was like I heard it for the first time. The lyrics played in my ears as I ran through my new neighborhood in this new season of my life, prompting me to have a more grateful heart for simply who God is..... " You are God alone, from before time began, you are on your throne,  you are God alone. Unchangeable, unstoppable that's what you are. " He is an unchangeable, unstoppable all powerful God. There is none like Him. I am so completely overwhelmed that He would love me the way He does and continue to prune me and patiently wait for the growth that He desires in me. How can I not worship a God like that? 

This season, I'm content sitting in my new temporary home on the East Coast.. Signs of fall are showing. The mornings are cool and crisp, the leaves are beginning to change color, pumpkins are starting to be put out on peoples porches, acorns are being dropped then gathered by the squirrels and chipmunks that seem to be our co-occupants. I'm forever thankful for these past four seasons that God has used to change me. I am 100%  certain He has much more pruning to do in me and I pray I will praise Him more today for being the great gardener of my life! 

- Pressing On 

" It is impossible to worship God and remain unchanged." - Henry Blackaby

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