Sometimes, I need a shot in the arm. Today was one of those days. I've been a bit angry and fighting the temptation to get bitter since things haven't exactly been going my way lately. I know I shouldn't complain. I have so much to be thankful for. But truth be told, I absolutely, strongly dislike moving. It stinks! And we've done it four times now in 8 months. Might be a bit of an exaggeration since two of which were moving in and out of temporary housing but it's moving just the same. So much stupid stuff goes along with moving. The transferring utilities into our name, have you called a utility company lately? They are peachy to deal with once you get through the menu and actually get a person. Then they have to come out to install and that rarely goes smoothly. Drivers license, Car registration, Doctors, Dentist, more importantly, hair stylist! All new again. And of course, I'm anticipating all the boxes of paper stuffed items that will roll off the truck and demand my attention if I want things to be normal and feel like home again soon.
Today, I went to the apartment we have been staying in and I loaded up my car with all of the stuff and winter clothes I had needed a couple of months ago. I cleaned and prepared to vacate the cute, little one bathroom bungalow we have been I living in. Even that made me sigh. I won't miss the loud washer, dishwasher or the nightly active neighbors above us. But I will miss the charm, the pretty hills, how close the town is to the city and even the simplicity of the apartment life. I will not miss the round-about even though I have just gotten the hang of it. I will miss the cleaners I just found and the Starbucks that is close by. More change and lots of work ahead.
Because I don't like to throw anything out especially food, I grabbed Jim's three pieces of salmon and my two ice cream sandwiches that were in the freezer. Having the car full with what was left I headed back to our new home. The truck will arrive tomorrow with our stuff and I felt I had accomplished a lot on my to-do list. Then I remembered I'm supposed to stop at Home Depot and order the washer and dryer. Yes, more fun stuff that goes with moving. No big deal, it's on the way home.
The clerks were busy helping other customers so I waited. Then I remembered, I have fish and ice cream in my car. Oh well, it's not like Phoenix, how fast can things melt here? The lady who helped me was great. We had a little bit in common as she is getting ready to move too and also in the market for a new washer and dryer. So we talked about the joys of moving, tips we have found helpful and of course- top loader verses front loader. Maybe it was her friendliness and/or my need for human contact and conversation but we talked longer than neccessary to make a purchase. "Oops, I have fish and ice cream in my car! " Fortunately, the fish was still frozen solid by the time I got home but I can't say the same for the ice cream. Oh well, it was worth it, I had finished off most of my check list and met a sweet lady along the way. It was nice and just the shot in the arm I needed today.
As my day was winding down I spoke with a dear friend of mine who also gave me a shot in the arm I didn't even realize I needed. She knows me well and continues to surprise me with her perception. She will say things like "what is that I hear in your voice?" or "are you doing ok?" I'll ask her " how do you do that?" And she replies with " I know you." Today she didn't even have to ask, she knows me well and could sense the struggle I'm having in "Trying to keep it all together". She very lovingly, encouraged me to go have a good cry and give it all over to God, again. Reminding me that it is a daily act to surrender, to forgive and to let go of whatever it is I'm holding too tightly to . Often times I think I'm doing good because I gave it to God yesterday so I stuff the pain again because I need to function in my day to day activities. She also reminded me that it's ok to hurt, to feel the pain and just have a good cry. God knows my pain and He wants me to bring it to Him. So I did just that. I'll spare you the details but I can tell you it was an ugly, full blown hyperventilating kind of cry. It was cleansing and freeing. And more importantly, it drew me closer to God by giving it all over to Him again! It was just the shot in the arm I needed.
- Pressing On
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