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Still Seeking

Too often I live based on my feelings. Feelings are real and I trust God gave them to us for a reason. But if I only listen to my feelings and then act on those I can get into a heap of trouble. I don’t feel like doing the laundry so...I don’t feel like going to the gym so.... I feel like eating ice cream so ... I don’t feel like forgiving that person.... I feel like making sure I’m first in line..... I feel like I should get my way..... I think you get the picture. 

And unfortunately, sometimes I let my feelings overrule what I know to be true about God. I don’t always feel His presence. I think that is by design. He wants us to seek Him constantly, seeking His face and His guidance. It’s not like this big game of Hide and Seek. He doesn’t hide from us. He is there! Always! But we can put Him in a box because we just don’t feel Him. 

One of my daily prayers is “God, show me you today.”  Then, I go about my day and think I didn’t see Him. Oh, He is there. In everything. The problem is, I didn’t seek. I cannot tell you how many times I can look back and go.... “Oh, that was you God!” Does that ever happen to you? You’ve been thinking of someone and they just so happen to call or text you? You’re having a not so good day and then something cool happens like the car ahead of you pays for your Americano at Starbucks? You’re feeling really beat up and discouraged and you get a note from someone randomly telling you how much you are loved and the impact you have made in their life. You witness a beautiful sunrise or sunset. All God. At work. In our lives.

Last Friday I picked up a prescription at my local pharmacist. I got there about an hour before closing time and knowing they are closed on the weekend, I needed to be sure to grab it. The following day I went to run errands with Jim. When I went to make a purchase at Home Depot, my credit card wasn’t in its usual place. Yep! You probably know that horrible feeling. Where could it be? I said a little selfish prayer. “Please Lord, help me find it.” I felt so stupid. How could I have misplaced it? When we got home I tore apart my purse, my wallet, my laundry and my car. I looked up our account and the last place it was used was of course the pharmacy. But again, they are closed for the weekend. I’d have to wait until Monday at eight. Meanwhile, I watched online for any crazy, thousand dollar purchases made in Canada. And I prayed and believed that God is in control no matter the outcome. 

Eight o’clock Monday morning you can be sure I was picking up the phone to call the pharmacy. “Hold on, I will take a look.” Comes back to the phone too quickly. “I’m sorry. We don’t have it.” Feeling disappointed, stupid and defeated, I asked God out loud “Where could it be?” The prompting I got to get in my car and drive 20 minutes to go look was strong. It’s there! I knew it in my core. It wasn’t a feeling it was God showing Himself to me. Seek and you will find. So, I drove down there with the idea it would either be where I parked my car and it fell out of my pants pocket or in the chair I sat in while waiting to speak to the pharmacist.

I parked my car the same as Friday, searched the area and no. It wasn’t there. As I was walking into the pharmacy I nearly begged God, “Please, let it be here.” I kid you not, for no reason whatsoever- I looked down at my feet in the parking lot, my credit card sat facing up and the first thing I saw was my name on the card. It was as if God dropped it right at my feet, “Here you go Constance!” Crazy huh? I looked up and nearly crying through my smile, “Thank you God!”. Not just over the credit card. Don’t get me wrong, I was overjoyed I didn’t have to cancel my card. 

 This had nothing to do with my credit card and everything to do with my God. He did not have to do that but He chose to reveal Himself to me that day because I chose to seek Him. He is faithful and keeps His promises. I know that to be true. I had been asking God lately to help me see Him in all things. I was once again relying a little too much on my feelings. I just wanted to feel Him again. I know better. God isn’t a feeling. He is real and constant and never changing. Always at work. When we seek Him, we will find Him. It’s a daily choice to continue to seek Him in all things. He isn’t hiding. He is right where He has always been. On His throne and forever in the lives of those who know His name. 

Pressing On 

“Those who know your name trust in you, for you, Lord, have never forsaken those who seek you.”
Psalms 9:10 NIV


“You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart.”

Jeremiah 29:13 NIV

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