When I moved away from Arizona a little over four years ago one of the hardest things, besides moving away from my family was moving away from my close friends. I have an incredible circle of friends who are like family to me. They are sisters who love me, encourage me, speak the truth to me and challenge me to grow. I’m forever grateful for them.
When I left Phoenix someone said to me, “You will never be able to replace that group of women” and I agreed. I wasn’t looking to replace them. In fact, for a time I had my guard up not wanting to make new friends because I didn’t want that pain of having to say goodbye again. The good news was, I didn’t leave them, I just changed addresses. Three times even! But, with technology and social media I don’t miss a beat. We still stay in contact, I follow along with what they have going on in their lives and they in mine. However, I do miss that face to face connection that comes by sitting across the table over a cup of coffee or lunch.
I read once about the average person’s circle of friends… most have anywhere between 50 to 200 acquaintances. This has probably changed with social media now I’m sure. But these are people you keep at surface level. “How are you?” “I’m good thank you, you?” And then of those, some might become what would be considered “close friends”. You share common interests, concerns, deeper conversations. And we can have as few or as many of those depending on our temperaments and personalities. But the author went on to say that of those “close friendships” a rare few will develop into a best friend, soul mate, or heart to heart companion. One that we share real depth of heart with. We don’t only share concerns but beliefs and dreams and struggles and challenges. You might not see this person often but when you talk you pick right back up where you left off. She encourages you by sharing her heart and struggles. You cry with her and laugh with her, pray with her and for her. You can sense something is wrong just by the tone of her voice. She celebrates your victories with you and pushes you out the door when you want to sit on the couch. The author suggested that if you have three to four of these kinds of friends in your lifetime, you can count yourselves very fortunate. I count myself very fortunate.
There was a season in my life several years ago of loneliness and missing this gift of friendship. I had many acquaintances and even some close friends but was missing that heart to heart companion. I remember praying that God would bring me some Christian friends to do life with. And boy did He. These women are just not only good to me friends but good for me friends. They are straight shooters and lovingly come along side me helping me to live a better life as a godly woman, wife, mom and friend. They remind me of my purpose and cheer me on to live it out for the glory of God. They cry with me and pray for me and I cannot imagine my life without them. Even though, those across the table, over a cup of coffee moments are fewer than ever.
When we landed in the Houston area a little over a year ago I knew it was no accident of the neighborhood God brought us to. I mean I had prayed over and over that He would put us in the neighborhood He wanted for us. From the first time we entered this house I knew, this was it. I can’t explain it and I know that sounds so super natural but then well, it is. It was like God said “This one.” I also promised God that I would use this house however He wanted. As He has done before He prompted me to open up my home for a bible study. I was also very encouraged by my two biggest cheerleaders in Phoenix. I had no idea where to start but by inviting a few neighbors I had met. I figured they would either be excited and want to join or would now avoid me when I go to get my mail. I even reached out to the community Facebook page. To my surprise and delight I had four women come sit around the table and talk about life, marriage, parenting in this crazy world, and dig into God’s Word on how we might make a difference in our families, our lives and our community.
Fast forward a year plus later and we are growing. Not only in numbers but as women seeking God for wisdom and vision and purpose. And we have become close friends. We share our concerns, some common interests and we have deep conversations. We lift each other up in prayer and challenge one another to press on in the midst of trials and struggles.
I sit in awe that God would bless me with such an incredible group of women. He didn’t have to. I believe He created us for community. He gives us what we need. Jesus shows us true friendship lays down their life for others by sacrificially loving one another. Sacrificial love listens, helps and encourages. I want to be that kind of friend to others. I know I have work to do because I don’t always do this. Especially, when it comes to being a friend to my husband who should take first priority on my friends list. I still live so selfishly at times. But I was very encouraged this past week as I reflected on the friendship Jesus has given me. The friendship of Himself first and foremost. He laid down His life for me ( and you) so that we may have eternal life with Him! What a precious gift. A huge bonus is the gift of friendship with others to do life with. I am forever grateful.
Pressing On
“Wounds from a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.”
Proverbs 27:6 NIV
“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.”
Proverbs 27:17 NIV
“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
John 15:12-13 NIV
“This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us. And we ought to lay down our lives for our brothers and sisters.”
1 John 3:16 NIV
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