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Marriage Stuff

 Going back to Arizona was heart filling. I was able to spend quality time with our kids, visit my old bible study where I reconnected with my girlfriends, and had a much needed girls weekend with my mom and sister. We laughed until we cried and that always fills me up.

 We even attended my old home church. Although, with technology, I am able to keep up and watch services online. I still consider it my church family since I "grew up" there. Spiritually anyway. Thankfully,  I am still growing. I was excited to see they were doing a series on marriage and dating. Good stuff! 

 Our senior pastor and his wife spoke and shared how they have stayed together for nearly 48 years. They shared a lot about God's design for marriage and that His way works. When we put Him at the center there is unity in the marriage and the family. I couldn't agree more. I have seen and experienced both sides of that coin. 

 A marriage without God left two people struggling and fighting to get our way. That nearly drove us apart. Now I can honestly say, with Jesus at the center of our marriage, we are united, compassionate toward one another (most of the time)  and love in a way I never thought possible. Still, not perfect. We will never be perfect until we are called home. We still have some of the same issues we had before but we handle them differently. A lot of my circumstances haven't changed but God has changed my heart to accept them as a way to grow me in order to put my hope and trust in Him. 

 As much as I loved my trip to Arizona I missed Jim and was looking forward to coming home. Home is, after all, where my hubby is. The plane ride is always long but I used that time to read and reflect on my trip. I kept coming back to the church service and asked myself, if  (at nearly 32 years)  I am content with where we are in our marriage? The answer is yes but.... I want to have the very best marriage possible. So there is always room for growth.

 These past two and half years of uprooting, moving and adjusting to so much change has changed our marriage too. We became empty nesters which is a blast but also an adjustment. We are polar opposites. I'm an extrovert, he is an introvert. I love to get out of the house and be with people, people, people. He is perfectly content to stay at home working on projects around the house. We even speak different love languages. So, it's easy to see how we can become complacent in our relationship if we aren't careful. 

 As I sat on that plane I vowed to come home and go to work on becoming a better wife to Jim. I don't want to become complacent. He works extremely hard to provide for our family. He faithfully does whatever needs to be done so that we are taken care of. How often do I complain (to God and myself) that he isn't doing what I want him to be doing? Or I point out that he isn't speaking my love language. He speaks in acts of service where I speak in words of encouragement. I don't always "feel" loved when he mows the lawn or changes the batteries in all of the smoke detectors. But I KNOW he loves me. 

 It should not have surprised me that instead of picking me up curbside at the airport, he had parked and was waiting for me at baggage claim. I walked into a clean, freshly vacuumed house. Didn't know he knew where the vacuum was. He washed my car and had all of the dog poop picked up, which I think was a first for him since we brought Annie home a year and a half ago. And the house was fully decorated for Easter which is my favorite holiday. He even stopped at Starbucks and picked up our favorite beans because he thought we were out. Bless him! Oh how I love this man God loaned me and I know he loves me too. 

 Today, I am going to begin working on my marriage by simply choosing to celebrate the good in my husband. Thanking God for the great qualities he has and choose to overlook his faults. I am going to pray he can do the same for me because I have plenty of faults of my own. I am going to thank God for not "fixing" those circumstances I want fixed because that keeps me focused on Jesus. My hope and trust is in Him not on my circumstances. 

 And I am going to begin speaking a different language to show my hubby that I love him too. I'm thankful it's still winter so I don't have to mow the lawn. 😉

- Pressing On 

“Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”
1 Corinthians 13:4-7 NIV

“Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.”
Ephesians 5:24 NIV

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